


the poet

by happyhannie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Happy Ending, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Sort Of, felix and hyunjin are briefly mentioned, jisung is a poet, jisung is sad a lot, jisung misses minho, minho is a touring dancer, self discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22535974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyhannie/pseuds/happyhannie
Summary: what’s a poet without his muse?orjisung only ever gets inspiration from minho so what happens when minho goes on tour and jisung has to write the most important poem of his life?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 9
Kudos: 72





	the poet

` a breeze traverses miles between us,  
that one brave wisp of wind  
that accumulates more courage than the both of us  
it’s not impossible. `

it was 12 noon on a saturday morning when jisung finally managed to get himself out of bed. he hadn’t got a particularly exciting day planned out but the idea of going to the ice cream shop with chan was enough to make him get up especially as the older was paying.

minho had been gone for a few days, he was off on tour with his dance crew and jisung would tell this fact to anyone who would listen. the sheer amount of pride that jisung had in his boyfriend was almost unimaginable, minho was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. 

the door bell rang soon after and with his boyfriend still on his mind, jisung opened the door to their shared apartment and ushered chan inside, “chan hyung! thank you for offering to take me out for ice cream,” jisung pouted slightly to which chan only cast him a fond smile. 

“of course sung, i know how emotional you get so i don’t want you all cooped up alone sulking,” chan replied to which jisung scoffed.

“i was not sulking,” he spoke indignantly and chan raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

“then explain how that photo of minho has found its way from your bedroom wall to your coffee table,” the australian all but proved his point.

jisung ran his point through in his head a few times before simply shrugging, “i’m not responsible for the actions of my household objects,” he nodded and chan broke into a fit of later.

it felt good actually, jisung thought, to have company. minho was his best friend before he was his boyfriend and his muse even before he became his best friend so jisung found himself struggling to complete the one task he stayed behind to complete.

it was a big thing, he’d been asked to write a poem by his professor and it was to be put into a nationally renowned poetry anthology. jisung had been specifically chosen from all of the students due to his exceptional skills but the burden was insane. without minho, his muse, jisung felt like he had no ideas. there had been countless pieces of paper that he had just tossed into his trash can as he attempted to write about something other than love. 

“are you ready then?” chan knocked him out of his thoughts and jisung smiled up at him before nodding and grabbing his keys. the walk to the ice cream shop was short and filled with conversation more about chan than jisung. it was at this point where jisung realised he had very little in his life that wasn’t because of or to do with minho. every time he contributed to their conversation it was always ‘oh i did that with minho hyung’ or ‘minho hyung wants to do that’. it never played on his mind until now. 

they arrived at the shop and jisung was shocked to see changbin there waiting for them, “i invited myself,” the shortest boy explained, “chan hyung is buying ice cream you can’t blame me sung.”

he was right. no one could turn down free ice cream and true to his word chan paid for the ice creams and it was only when they left the shop that jisung realised that he had asked for mint chop chip flavour, minho’s favourite. 

` why do we blame our shortfalls on time?  
you have barely got time to breathe  
i struggle to get the right amount of sleep because there’s not enough time.  
as soon as thoughts of you leave my mind,  
morning calls me  
like an old enemy wanting to rekindle a lost love.  
ours is not lost,  
yet. `

minho, it seemed, was always busy. jisung couldn’t blame him, the boy was on tour! it was what the elder had always dreamed of and the younger would never have forgiven himself if he had stood between the love of his life and his dream regardless of how much it may have hurt him.

every time jisung’s phone blared minho’s answerphone greeting or minho’s sleepy voice answered and jisung wouldn’t talk to him because he knew his boyfriend needed the sleep, the younger felt them slip a little further apart. of course, their physical distance was constantly growing but so too was their emotional distance and this was terrifying. 

it had become increasingly clear to jisung that minho was everything to him and life without the older boy seemed scarily empty. he’d sat for about 3 hours one day scrolling aimlessly through blogs or calling his various friends trying to find anything that could possibly give him inspiration but still there was nothing.

every poem he had ever written had been inspired by minho and now with his boyfriend gone, jisung lacked that spark. writing from memory simply wasn’t good enough, the younger boy found it practically impossible to write poems that weren’t from personal experience (unless he’d just watched a really emotional film like marley and me because last time he watched it he’d cried for an hour and written the saddest poem of his life). 

the writer decided that enough was enough so he grabbed his phone and dialled minho’s number, he was certain it wasn’t late in the us so he hoped and prayed that minho was simply having free time. his prayers were answered when he heard his boyfriend’s voice. 

“jisungie! hi!” his boyfriend’s happy tone lifted his mood immediately.

“hyung! how are you? how’s the tour going?” jisung spoke back excitedly wanting to know all the details that minho hadn’t had the time to tell him. 

“it’s going great!” there was a quick pause before jisung heard his voice again, “hey, can i call you back later? we’re all just going out to eat at the moment,” minho spoke and oh. the younger felt his heart sink but instead he faked happiness whilst he replied.

“that’s fine, don’t worry about it call me when you’re free hyung, i don’t care what time it is over here!” he responsed with false positivity.

“okay jisungie talk to you later!”

“bye hyung! i love you.”

minho hung up. 

` it’s you who must make the effort  
with your smile full of silver  
and eyes of darkened gold  
that follow me through the pixels on my laptop  
as i speak of my morning while you prepare for bed  
and i speak of my night while you eat your breakfast  
and you speak of how we’re too far apart  
but neither of us move much more than an inch  
and what’s an inch over 7000 miles? `

there was no way to even attempt to get closer, they had spoken of it whilst jisung lay in his bed watching minho eat his cereal. “could you get here?” minho had asked with the slightest glimmer of hope in his eyes that was immediately distinguished by jisung’s telling sigh. 

“i can’t hyung, i’ve got a poem to write and not much money, i’m sorry, you know i want to be there with you,” the younger pouted cutely to which minho simply smiled.

“it’s okay sungie, i’ll just have to wait another month.”

it hadn’t seemed that long, jisung had thought, but minho had only been away for two weeks at that point and the thought of having to go through it all twice again was almost too much. yet, their conversation was as lively as ever and they had so much to talk about even if it was mainly just minho gushing about the crowds or the routines or the other dancers. jisung found that his life back at home was comparatively boring without the other in it. 

it had started to scare him just how bland his life was without minho and he’d rang chan in a panic later that day and cried over how pathetic he felt because of how much his life revolved around his boyfriend. of course he’d gotten an entire essay from chan.

“sung, listen to me now,” and jisung immediately fell quiet from his rant, “yes, a lot of the things in your life revolve around minho but that’s completely normal! you live together, you’ve known each other for 5 years, you’ve been dating for 2 years, you do everything together but that doesn’t mean you’re nothing without him. you feel that way because you’ve been so upset about him being away that you’ve bundled yourself up in your room and done nothing but tried to force yourself to write this poem, of course his life is going to seem more exciting but there’s so much life out here for you sung! you just need to ask me or changbin or any of us and we’ll go anywhere with you!” chan had explained animatedly and jisung thought he’d never been so grateful for his friends in his entire life. 

a tear slipped from the younger’s eye as he spoke, “it’s so hard hyung, i’m just so used to having him around all the time and i feel like i don’t know what to do when he’s gone,” jisung attempted to stop the single tear from turning into sobs. 

“okay how about this? tomorrow i’m taking you and changbin to my studio and we’re gonna make a song together for old times sake yeah? and if it’s good enough you can give it to minho to dance to when he gets home,” chan offered and jisung couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. 

“that sounds perfect hyung thank you so much,” he spoke through his sobs, “thank you.”

` you’re not trying  
pools of bitter chocolate watch me  
plump pink lips saying words i don’t want to hear  
it’s impossible  
the icy cold stares back  
wintry words are freed into wintry air  
do you even love me? `

“i can’t do it jisung, you’re too far it’s killing me,” and god how the younger boy’s heart shattered upon taking in those words.

“hyung, hyung please,” jisung sobbed trying to find any form of comfort he possibly could from minho but he was simply met with his boyfriends fake cold expression through a screen, “i’m doing everything i can please.”

minho sighed and looked down and jisung couldn’t tell whether he was trying to hide his tears or if he was simply annoyed at his whining. “look, i can’t last another month like this sung, this isn’t going to be the only tour you know that, i’m back home for a month but then i’m away for another three weeks i don’t know if either of us can handle that,” the older boy spoke.

“no, no hyung i can make it i promise, i promise to you i can, i’m not that fragile,” jisung was sure that his tears were conflicting every single word he was saying but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. what if this was it? what if minho was really going to leave him? the thought of losing his lover felt so real and it made it seem like the very foundations he had built the plans for his future on were going to collapse.

“sung, look at yourself, can you?” minho asked and jisung opened his eyes just enough to see his picture on the screen. minho was right, he looked like he hadn’t slept for days with almost black rings lying under his eyes and his skin lacked its usual glow and was full of blemishes. 

“hyung i’m not crying because you’re not here i’m crying over the thought of losing you completely,” jisung managed to croak out from behind his panicky, terrified exterior. he took a deep breath before looking back at minho’s face on the screen, “how is this not affecting you at all?” he asked the older boy in disbelief. did minho even love him? 

“you have no idea how much this is affecting me,” minho spoke back almost cruelly but there was still no sign of any emotion other than boredom and anger on his face. 

“look at me hyung, you said it yourself i’m a mess! how can you be so composed and look so well when i’m over here in complete meltdown over the idea of losing you, does the idea of not being with me anymore really not bother you at all?” jisung asked in exasperation and finally tears began to find their way down minho’s cheek as he cracked and burst into sobs, “don’t do this hyung, please,” jisung begged and minho shook his head. 

“you’re right, i can’t, you’re always right sung that’s why i love you so much.”

for the first time in the last ten minutes, jisung took a real breath. 

` you.  
i watch you on a screen  
heart as flushed as your cheeks, beating faster than your excited voice  
speaking to me about your successes  
while i still fight for what i desire.  
you, with your cliched heart not of gold but of platinum,  
i’m proud that you have strength,  
i neglect how weak i feel. `

“it went so well jisungie! the hyungs did perfectly and i’ve made so many friends now,” minho gushed, “i can’t even explain how happy i am, it feels like i’ve finally clasped onto my dream you know?” minho grinned and jisung nodded whilst happily taking in every word his boyfriend spoke to him.

it was 3 weeks into minho’s 6 week tour now and the older boy was so happy that jisung found it practically impossible not to share some of his excitement. minho had just performed on us tv and although the younger boy had watched it on a very low quality and highly illegal live stream at 4am, it had been the most breathtaking performance he had ever seen. 

“yeah i know! you did so well hyung! i couldn’t take my eyes off you the entire performance!” jisung gushed, “my livestream was so bad but it was still so so good!”

“thank you, thank you,” minho grinned impossibly wider, “you know that your opinion is the one that’s most important to me,” jisung blushed embarrassingly red, “anyway enough about me, how’s your poem coming along?” he asked.

“uh,” jisung quickly attempted to think of an excuse but upon seeing minho’s knowing look he simply gave up before he had even started, “it’s not really…” he trailed off, “i mean i tried out a few ideas but they all turned out really bad and i think i wrote better poems at 11 than i’m writing now.”

minho let out a chuckle at his statement, “i’m sure it can’t be that bad sung, what are you struggling with?”

“i can’t think of anything to write about!” jisung complained loudly, “see usually i just write about you and that’s really easy but now your not here so i can’t just look to my left and write a whole greasy poem about your eyelash length.”

“wait the eyelash poem was about me?”

“shut up you already knew it was.”

` and you are fingertips from your dream  
whilst i am 7000 miles from mine  
but you still find hours to see me;  
to caress me with honesty;  
to fill my mind with your red thoughts and crimson freedom;  
and dance your way deeper into my barely beating heart.  
your smile is on my screen again `

“good morning,” minho spoke croakily into the phone and it was only then that jisung realised he had called the elder at 4am. 

“shit, sorry hyung i didn’t realise how late it was for you i can call back later?” jisung asked just as minho clicked the lights on and jisung saw his lover’s morning face for the first time in almost a month. 

“no it’s okay,” minho smiled kindly, “i was hoping you’d call anyway, i missed you a lot yesterday and i have some things i want to tell you.”

jisung’s heart fluttered at his words, “you’re so beautiful hyung,” he breathed out and watched as minho’s cheeks flushed an awe-inspiring red before his eyes, “what is it you wanted to tell me?”

“we’ve been invited to perform at a really prestigious dance festival in la!” minho spoke excitedly and jisung felt pride like he’d never felt it before.

“i’m so so proud of you!” he spoke with a gigantic smile on his face, “you’re gonna be a household name soon, mark my words.”

“i wouldn’t go that far,” minho laughed but jisung refused to hear it as they bickered for a couple of minutes over how famous they thought minho was going to get.

“i love you,” minho ended their debate.

“i love you more.”

“impossible.”

` you’re mocking me.  
your laugh is a contagious disease  
and your eyes curl up when you smile like a half moon,  
the red on your lips follows me into my dreams,  
you’re constantly ruling my thoughts  
and i struggle to remember you.`

`it’s impossible. `

they had been together again in jisung’s dream. the writer supposed that that was the closest thing he would get to proper interaction with his boyfriend for the next few weeks. the distance between them had never felt further and jisung was so tired of missing him and missing his presence, he just wanted minho home. 

the younger had lost track of the amount of times he’d picked up a pen but had never actually touched it to the paper. even when hyunjin had arrived at his front door and practically force fed him home baked cookies or when felix had turned up to play mario kart for 6 hours, jisung still couldn’t find inspiration. the most annoying part was that he had found inspiration from minho even when they were just friends so why couldn’t he find it from his other friends too?

he’d been dreaming about minho a lot more but it was always said that your dreams reflected the things that were on your mind most. in his most recent sleepy tale, minho’s red lips had left a beautiful lipstick stain on his cheek as they joked around in their living room. it had felt so real that jisung took a glance in the mirror for a second longer than usual as he walked past it the next morning. 

however despite the fact that he got a little rest from missing minho whilst he was asleep, the same couldn’t be said for his thoughts during the day. focusing on anything other than his own self pity seemed like an impossible task as jisung fought the thoughts of minho leaving him which constantly tried to find a way into his mind. 

their conversation that they had had not long ago had haunted the younger and he simply couldn’t get it out of his mind. the older had been so willing and ready to just end it all there and then and to jisung that was terrifying. minho might not have wanted him anymore whereas to jisung, the idea of not wanting the dancer in his life seemed impossible.

—

it was the day that jisung had to present his poem. before handing it over to his professor so it could be published, he first had to read it to a small crowd full of experts and a few family and friends that he had been allowed to invite. 

the poet was understandably nervous as he took to the small stage and adjusted the microphone so it suited his height. however, poetry was his passion and all traces of nerves disappeared as soon as he began to read. 

_‘a breeze traverses miles between us,  
that one brave wisp of wind  
that accumulates more courage than the both of us  
it’s not impossible._

_why do we blame our shortfalls on time?  
you have barely got time to breathe  
i struggle to get the right amount of sleep because there’s not enough time.  
as soon as thoughts of you leave my mind,  
morning calls me  
like an old enemy wanting to rekindle a lost love.  
ours is not lost,  
yet._

_it’s you who must make the effort  
with your smile full of silver  
and eyes of darkened gold  
that follow me through the pixels on my laptop  
as i speak of my morning while you prepare for bed  
and i speak of my night while you eat your breakfast  
and you speak of how we’re too far apart  
but neither of us move much more than an inch  
and what’s an inch over 7000 miles?_

_you’re not trying.  
pools of bitter chocolate watch me  
plump pink lips saying words i don’t want to hear,  
it’s impossible.  
the icy cold stares back,  
wintry words are freed into wintry air,  
do you even love me?_

_you.  
i watch you on a screen,  
heart as flushed as your cheeks, beating faster than your excited voice  
speaking to me about your successes  
while i still fight for what i desire.  
you with your cliched heart not of gold but of platinum,  
i’m proud that you have strength  
i neglect how weak i feel_

_and you are fingertips from your dream  
whilst i am 7000 miles from mine  
but you still find hours to see me  
to caress me with honesty;  
fill my mind with your red thoughts and crimson freedom;  
and dance your way deeper into my barely beating heart.  
your smile is on my screen again._

_you’re mocking me.  
your laugh is a contagious disease  
and your eyes curl up when you smile like a half moon,  
the red on your lips follows me into my dreams,  
you’re constantly ruling my thoughts  
and i struggle to remember you._

_it’s impossible._

_or is it?  
you spoke down the phone to me  
on a sun kissed saturday as you landed  
6950 miles closer than 7000.  
‘i’ll wait for you’ i replied  
and i did, i had  
even when i had to chase hope  
i caught up and hung on for dear life,  
hung onto you for dear life.  
you’re here.’ _

jisung finished with a smile as he looked up and gazed directly into minho’s eyes. the older boy wiped away a tear not so discreetly and as soon as the applause finished, jisung leapt off the stage and ran straight into the arms of the man he loved more than anything else in the world. 

“you’re here,” he repeated the words of his poem.

“i love you.”

“i love you more.”

“that’s impossible.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so so much for reading this!! i’ve been working on it for so long so i really really hoped you enjoyed it and that it was even sort of okay :))
> 
> you can follow me on twitter here:  
> @happyhanjisung !!


End file.
